“This is not what I signed up for” I silently repeatedly. Maybe when looking at the self inflicted cuts on my daughters arms. Possibly when another twenty quid disappeared from my purse or listening to more lies. Definitely scrabbling on all fours filling five bin liners with furry food, soiled underwear, dead vodka bottles and […]
Failure of long view in adoption is a strategic, economic & humanitarian mistake
National Adoption Week is always emotive. The intent is to recruit adopters. Unsurprisingly some experienced adopters rant at the saccharine articles in newspapers, knowing that below the rhetoric is a deficit of ongoing, deep, appropriate support. Failing to take the long view, over decades is a strategic, economic and humanitarian mistake. PAC-UK had a splendid series […]
SANDY & TIM start in life
Compare and contrast these two babies. SANDY (Securely Attached Normally Developed Youngster) all needs met regularly. TIM (Traumatised Infant Maltreated) neglected, ignored, hurt. This is the draft cartoon of the opening to my next book; “So you want(ed) to adopt. Ponder their probable life path. Ponder the sort of parenting Tim will need in adoptive […]
Mothers Day and Expectations. Hope for the best. Plan for the worst.
Last sunday I cooked my own meals, bought myself some flowers and uncharacteristically drank an entire bottle of wine and had a good cry. Why? Because yet again, on Mothers Day, I received nothing from the three children I adopted 25 years ago. We’ve had minimal contact for the last seven or eight years. By […]
Don’t assume keeping a sibling group together is right
Today’s Daily Mirror featured a sibling group of four looking for one set of adoptive parents. I’ve read the article with increasing anger. The children had a chaotic background, but had settled in well ….. blah, blah. Unlike prospective adopters; I and other adults experienced in parenting traumatised children could read between the lines. These […]
“Adoption is no longer fit for purpose”. Someone has to say it.
“Adoption is no longer fit for purpose”. Those are the sentiments expressed recently by many adopters and a few enlighten professionals. I’m independent, so I can voice it publicly. Many others can not. The capping of the Adoption Support Fund at £5000 was the tipping point. Its introduction was much heralded and deeply appreciated in […]