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FAB Parents

A coherent framework for understanding and parenting adopted and foster children

A COHERENT FRAMEWORK FOR THINKING

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You are here: Home / Birth Parent

Birth Parent

If you are a birth parent whose children were removed by the courts, sadly we can’t offer you any support or specific input. Sorry.

<img src="thescream.png" alt="The Scream by Edvard Munch">
The Scream by Edvard Munch

We know you were their first family and you grieve for them. We know you love your children, you care about them and they are frequently in your thoughts.

We believe you are entitled to help and support to deal with your grief, pain and the reasons your children were removed.

We hope you seek and find such support from appropriate places, we understand you are still screaming.

You may find some useful organisations and resources here

We have one request. If you are trying to reconnect with your children, please approach an independent organisation or the adoptive/foster parents first. You do not know what is happening in your child’s life. He may be very upset by bullying at school. She may have just split with a boyfriend and be very distressed. Their mental health may be fragile. They may have exams and course work deadlines which would be disrupted by your message, text or call, however well-intentioned.

Adoptive and foster parents want to protect their children from unexpected derailments in their life. They know the current circumstances: you don’t. Please let them pick the reconnection timings.

We know of many adoptive families where children have missed exams, dropped out of school, college or university because they received a Facebook message from their birth family.  Some have never fully recovered.

You always have an important place in your children’s hearts and lives.  Please help support them alongside the adoptive family.

 

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