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FAB Parents

A coherent framework for understanding and parenting adopted and foster children

A COHERENT FRAMEWORK FOR THINKING

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You are here: Home / Principles:- FAB Parents believes that:

Principles:- FAB Parents believes that:

Principles:- FAB Parents believes that:

<img src="water.png" alt="Normal calm water">“Normal”

  1. Every child should be born to adults who have the capacity to nurture, support and consciously parent that child from birth until adulthood and all the stages in between.
  2. All parents need support, understanding and education so their skills and knowledge about parenting and child development grows. This allows them to have a positive, fulfilling parenting experience and their child can reach its maximum potential, healthily and happily.
  3. Parenting is possibly the greatest leadership challenge an adult faces; so appropriate skills, tools, manuals and road maps are essential to smooth out that testing journey.
  4. Whilst every child is unique, there are common characteristics and developmental stages which are useful for parents to understand.
  5. Children have a right to be raised in a positive environment which allows them, throughout their childhood, to thrive on every level and mature into secure, confident, happy adults.

“Traumatised”

  1. Sadly, for a variety of reasons, a few adults do not have this capacity and when evidenced, the child should be removed promptly and appropriately
  2. Because children need stability and consistency such children should be placed with Permanent Parents (foster or adoptive) without delay.
  3. Children removed from their birth families, by the courts, will have experienced neglect/maltreatment/trauma and need therapeutic re-parenting to undo the damage and fill in the gaps.
  4. Permanent Parents need a deep understanding of child development, the legacy of childhood neglect and maltreatment plus tools and appropriate parenting skills to heal trauma
  5. Permanent Parents (foster, adoptive, special guardians, etc) will require continuous support, education, training, learning etc from placement until early adulthood and sometimes beyond.

<img src="lifebuoy.png" alt="Lifebouy in water prevention">“Prevention”

  1. Some women have a succession of birth children removed by the State and subsequently adopted or fostered. Many of these women are in very difficult circumstances with minimal support, often with chaotic lifestyles which frequently include drugs and/or alcohol.
  2. Many of these women had traumatic childhoods themselves and lack the skills or understanding to care for themselves. A child adds to their difficulties.
  3. Women whose children were removed and either adopted or fostered should be robustly supported and helped to get their lives on track. They are grieving and their unresolved pain should be acknowledged.
  4. There are a number of successful initiatives, throughout the UK and beyond, which offer such women support, education, counselling, skills training and job opportunities enabling them to turn their lives around, with the proviso they do not get pregnant and take (reversible) contraception.
  5. Such interventions are cost effective (emotionally and financially) and should be made available more widely.
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