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FAB Parents

A coherent framework for understanding and parenting adopted and foster children

A COHERENT FRAMEWORK FOR THINKING

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You are here: Home / Home / Blog

Don’t assume keeping a sibling group together is right

October 18, 2017 by Helen Oakwater 12 Comments

Today’s Daily Mirror featured a sibling group of four looking for one set of adoptive parents. I’ve read the article with increasing anger. The children had a chaotic background, but had settled in well  ….. blah, blah. Unlike prospective adopters; I and other adults experienced in parenting traumatised children could read between the lines. These […]

Filed Under: adoption, blog, future-proofing, siblings, trauma Tagged With: adoption, ASF, media, siblings, trauma, trauma bond

The boy who killed and mother who tried to stop him

September 19, 2017 by Helen Oakwater Leave a Comment

I hate being right.  The article in todays Guardian documents the massive steps a mother took to get help for her son. It was constantly refused (below the threshold). She pleaded. He killed. Two families and a network of friends shattered. Society incarcerates, while judging the behaviour disregarding the root cause. This is what happens […]

Filed Under: Uncategorized

“Adoption is no longer fit for purpose”. Someone has to say it.

July 20, 2017 by Helen Oakwater 2 Comments

“Adoption is no longer fit for purpose”. Those are the sentiments expressed recently by many adopters and a few enlighten professionals. I’m independent, so I can voice it publicly. Many others can not. The capping of the Adoption Support Fund at £5000 was the tipping point. Its introduction was much heralded and deeply appreciated in […]

Filed Under: adoption, blog, trauma Tagged With: adoption, ASF, trauma

How to Futureproof adoptive families from Facebook contact

February 6, 2017 by Helen Oakwater Leave a Comment

Yesterday I read a blog from yet another adoptive parent who’s adopted son is reconnecting with his birth parents. (Befuddled mum) It’s a scenario I have witnessed many times in the last eight years; watching hundreds of adoptive families grieve as their teenage rejected them and returned emotionally and/or physically to their birth family. Sometimes […]

Filed Under: Uncategorized

“Forced adoption” on Facebook in court

August 4, 2016 by Helen Oakwater Leave a Comment

Perspective!   This article highlights the complexity of issues when an infant is removed by the courts against the birth parents wishes. When such parents often feel they “own” their child they can’t see the bigger picture or childs perspective. “Forced adoption” is a big issue on social media with many grieving birth parents desperately […]

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Sydney video

July 15, 2016 by Helen Oakwater Leave a Comment

Filed Under: Uncategorized

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